Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Tall, Dark Stranger Lurking

My usual 6.4 route on a windy, overcast 35 degree morning.  My dumb phone (translation:  I am dumb because I have no idea how to work it) repeated the same songs as the past couple of days, so I'm skipping the Last Song Post.  We are in for some more nasty weather...

I've been seeing the same "spectator" periodically on this particular route for the past couple of months.  I usually cross the street before approaching him in the same spot.  A couple of times, I've had to run right in front of him.  I try not to make eye contact.  I'm sure a lot of other female runners get the usual honk from the desperate, delusional men (typically gardeners for some reason).  Yes, Gardener Stranger.  I hear you honking.  If I weren't in the middle of my run, I surely would wave you and your co-workers down so we can chat, exchange phone numbers, and set up a date.  I mean, that's how it works when normal people meet, right?  Boy sees girl.  Boy honks at girl.  Girl swoons.  Boy and Girl marry.  We women love it when you honk, make bizarre animal noises, or shout random obscenities.  It shows us that you really respect women (not to mention, you must be extremely intelligent).  Keep doing what you're doing.  It obviously works for you. Oh and by the way, you're a disgusting douche.  Anyway, this "spectator" doesn't make any obscene gestures (although I'm pretty sure he is not wearing any pants), but that doesn't make his presence any less ominous.  He's definitely older because his hair is completely gray.  He's also very tall, so tall that after I pass him I can feel his large presence towering over my shoulder sometimes.  It sends shivers up my spine.  Some friends have said they've actually seen him in their neighborhoods too. I have only caught glimpses of him from the corner of my eye so today I decided to snap a quick picture of him, for insurance.  If anything ever happened, I want to be able to make an identification.  I tried to be discreet, but I'm pretty sure he noticed.  What do you think?

I was going to yell, "Say 'Cheese'!", but I didn't want to incite him.

Take your time to regain composure.

Happy thoughts:

Wrong!!  Try again:

Much better.

No comments:

Post a Comment