Friday, April 5, 2013

Yet If Hope Has Flown Away...

I woke up and looked at the clock.  It was 10:30am!  I couldn't believe it!  The ING marathon started at 9am.  Am I doomed to screw up every single race I want to run?  I was definitely registered, unlike the Providence Half Marathon.  My bib was on top of the running outfit I laid out the night before.  I quickly got dressed and ran out to the start.  Even though I was an hour and a half late, this was one of the big marathons so I knew there were going to be walkers out there.  Surely, I could catch up to them, at the very least.  I saw the starting line and stepped on the mat to activate my timing chip.  Immediately, I saw the slower folks out on the course.  I was beginning to feel a little better.  One mile.  Two miles.  Three.  At six miles, I remembered Lance Armstrong was returning to the Tour de France today.  I am certainly not a fan of his, but I wanted to catch a glimpse of the race.  The route took us past the hotel again so I ducked inside and back into the room.  The family was watching the cyclists on TV.  It actually was pretty exciting to watch.  I decided to hang out a little while.  At some point someone asked me, "Aren't you supposed to be running the marathon?"  Oh yeah...  I knew any chance of PRing was long gone.  Should I go back downstairs?  Before I could decide....

...I woke up again.  This time for real.  That sick knot in my belly slowly began to shrink.  Ever since I graduated from college five years ago (cough cough...  What?!  It's practically five years ago, give or take another fifteen.), I have had recurring nightmares.  Either it is the day of my final exams and I have not studied or attended class all semester.  I don't even know where the exam room is.  Or it is the day a final paper is due and I haven't written one word.  Whenever I wake from these dreams, I am sick and relieved at the same time.  I guess I can now add the Unprepared Marathon to the nightmare library.

Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
-Edgar Allen Poe

Yesterday I did a 5 mile 40 minute tempo run almost identical to Tuesday's run.  Today is my RDO (Regular Day Off).

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